Skip to main content

The Pain that is Chuck Norris

I really enjoy a good laugh. Who doesn't? It just so happens that the recent craze over Chuck Norris had had me rolling. In part, because I actually watched Walker Texas Ranger with my dad on Saturday nights in its heyday...for real. The best part is that it isn't coming at the expense of Chuck, he even has his own favorite "facts" about himself. I have compiled some of my favorite Chuck Norris "facts" from a slew of different sources and listed them below. If you want to check the source, just Google it and you'll find all of these. So, without further adieu...laugh away:

  • Chuck Norris can unscramble an egg.
  • Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
  • Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
  • Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer
  • Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
  • Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.
  • Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
  • The leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart Disease 2. Chuck Norris 3. Cancer
  • Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.
  • Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
  • Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
  • When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up; he’s pushing the Earth down.
  • Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.
  • Chuck Norris’ house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.
  • Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter.
  • Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
  • Chuck Norris once got in a knife fight and the knife lost.
  • The fastest way to a man’s heart is with Chuck Norris’ fist.
  • Chuck Norris takes 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
  • Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
and last but not least...
  • There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Chuck Norris lives in Oklahoma.


Popular posts from this blog

Pilgrims Looking for the Sun


Pilgrims Looking for the Sun
This weekend across America, our transportation and information highways will glut with millions of eclipse-chasers travelling from the far corners of the globe order to find an unobstructed view along the “total eclipse” zone spanning the United States from Oregon to South Carolina. It’s a once-in-a-lifetime moment for many. A total eclipse of this nature hasn’t spanned this country for a century, though, the upcoming century holds many such eclipses in store. I myself will be joining the ranks of eclipse-chasers, making a relatively brief journey south to my parent’s property in Sparta, IL, which is comfortably within the totality zone.
I’m a latecomer in educating myself about this rare event. Only after watching two videos (by Smarter Every Day and Vox) and discussing the astronomically phenomenal event with my friend, Kacey, did my eyes begin to open in wonder and amazement at the unique phenomena of a total eclipse. Previously, I thought, oh, I’ll be…

Leatherbound Books

If you're into reading or just like thinking that you are, you should check out LibraryThing. Pretty sweet site actually. I have many leather bound books in my online catalogue. You can see for yourself: The site allows you to see users who have similar reading tastes as you and then you can check out their book reviews and other reading selections. I didn't have time yet to upload the Bearenstein Bears books I read back in high scho...I mean kindergarten. Mostly--well entirely, actually--my catalogue is filled with some books I've had the chance to read since the start of college. The point when I began to take reading seriously. Useless site? Ah...I wouldn't say so. It may help me to broaden my reading intake a bit. Or, maybe I'm just a sucker for these novel sites that allow us to connect with others and share knowledge.

The Stop Sign

While driving a new Iraqi family home from the clinic yesterday, I slowed the car at a stop sign near their apartment. As I brought the car to a stop, the father looked over at me, smiled and said in broken English, "In Baghdad, no stop. Too dangerous."

Stop signs. Always taken for granted. Now a reminder of chaos and tragedy in our world.